If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I touched a dick in church today
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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