big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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