Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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