You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
