i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
