slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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