Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
God, I missed his penis.
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