I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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