i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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