He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
that is very illegal...i love you.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
