I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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