he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she looked like the before picture.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
