Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
