Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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