I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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