You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
