dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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