we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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