Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
