apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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