Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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