I am puke
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
