I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
