I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
