So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize