i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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