He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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