During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
sex in a hospital.. check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize