The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
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I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Text me some of your sweat
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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