It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
