Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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