I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
