Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
