When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize