i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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