he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
