I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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