Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
COCAINE IS GR8
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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