Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
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ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
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We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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