No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
