my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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