Nicole vs. Life
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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