one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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