he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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