If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
