You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
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any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
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Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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