We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
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It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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