Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
