You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
