I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize