So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
