so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We just shotgunned beers for America
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my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The air was thick with penises
NoShamevember. You game?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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