He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
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No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
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Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap