Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates

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(201): Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates http://tfl.nu/tqkf

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(604): View more from British Columbia

it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you

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(604): it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you http://tfl.nu/0wg6

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.

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(615): Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree. http://tfl.nu/pq0u

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(630): View more from Illinois

I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...

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(630): I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends. (1-630): if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs... http://tfl.nu/id4n

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(248): View more from Michigan

Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

You suck.

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(248): Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier. (1-248): You suck. http://tfl.nu/uyss

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?

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(270): Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house? http://tfl.nu/tnd3

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(214): View more from Texas

How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?

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(214): How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus? http://tfl.nu/1khv

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(515): View more from Iowa

What did I eat last night that was bloody?

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(515): What did I eat last night that was bloody? http://tfl.nu/w6f4

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(618): View more from Illinois

You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.

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(618): You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel. http://tfl.nu/6eyp

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(651): View more from Minnesota

The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles

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(651): The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles http://tfl.nu/ulwd

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(585): View more from New York

In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?

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(585): In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is? http://tfl.nu/537k

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(919): View more from North Carolina

when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch

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(919): when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch http://tfl.nu/y99x

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(906): View more from Michigan

it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.

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(906): it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something. http://tfl.nu/su0x

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(847): View more from Illinois

Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"

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(847): Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!" http://tfl.nu/mldx

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(540): View more from Virginia

Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.

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(540): Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too. http://tfl.nu/nqk1

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