It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You may now shotgun with the bride
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
