I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
this will be a night to untag.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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