i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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