I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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