When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
third nipple confirmed
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Randomize
